You, Me & Everyone We Know have officially released I Wish More People Gave A Shit. Download and stream it below!
You, Me & Everyone We Know And Squid The Whale Announce Tour
PropertyOfZack has been talking on and off with Ben Liebsch of You, Me & Everyone We Know for over a year now to try to incorporate him more into the site, and that’s exactly why we’re so excited today to launch a new Contributor Blog feature with Ben today called Rough Drafts.
Rough Drafts will be a monthly entry from Ben on the site that is off the cuff and centered around whatever Ben is feeling at that time and place. YMAEWK have also launched pre-orders for the A Great Big Hole EP and can be picked up here. Check out the first entry of Rough Drafts below!
I was in the kitchen distracting Christine from her inspection for ants with a realization I had about a record my band put out a few years ago called Some Things Don’t Wash Out. “I think it just hit me now,” I said to her still kind of foggily grasping at a complete thought. “The songs themselves were about my drinking, my depression, the uncertainty in life in the face of a hope for something more, but I think i am just now realizing the theme of the record. I felt like I was pretty self aware, if not the major problems, of at least the symptoms of those problems. I knew I desired a change but felt powerless to make that change. I was writing about the disconnect between my ideal self and my reality.”
“Oh, you mean like cognitive dissonance?” she asked.
It was not an unfamiliar term, but its meaning for some reason had vanished from my memory. I looked up the definition and it talks about the feeling of discomfort when simultaneously holding two or more conflicting cognitions (ideas, beliefs, values, or emotional reactions). We are motivationally driven to bridge this gap and it often causes is to grey otherwise black and white areas of life. Given the news of late, take for example what occurs in a social circle when a rape or sexual assault occurs. Outside of this situation, rape is a black and white situation. However, within the social group one is faced with trying to rectify the dissonance between the person you thought your friend was and the type of person you feel would commit such an act. Horrible rationalizations occur in attempts to bridge such a gap. Anyway, I think i’m digressing.
So here i am wondering about this idea of cognitive dissonance. Looking back at my life, I can’t help but face the fact that I’ve never been as close to my ideal self as I would like to be. We all have morals and goals and aspirations, but i know I’m not alone in wondering if I’ll ever be the person should be. Hell, not even SHOULD but WANT to be. This isn’t something an external force is pushing me towards. This is something I want. It’s something everyone wants. So why are so many of us living lives of, as Thoreau puts it, “quiet desperation”? I know plenty of people will read this and immediately think “I’m happy. This doesn’t apply to me. Ben must have fallen off the wagon.”